you’re not doing it wrong

What if it all falls apart?

ED: I used to know every little thing that was going on. Now everything is moving fast. I can’t see it all, and it terrifies me, what if we (I) eff it all up?

ME: First of all, YES. I love this conversation, cheers to growing pains.

Second, it's so relatable. If you've been at this a while, you know the kind of internal tension this brings.

When you’re building something, you have to be in everything at first. You’re the vision-holder, the bridge-builder, the snack-buyer, the program/grant-writer. You know every line item. You recognize every face in every room. You are the center of the Rubik's Cube.

But then...it grows. And so does your identity in your organization.

You wanted this expansion, right? Right! It means it's working. People like it. People like you. You need help to grow. You get help. You (attempt to) delegate what you think is, well, delegateable.

And of course, your instinct to tighten your grip while letting go. To jump back into every thread. To have a pulse on every area of your organization. To hover just enough to keep the wheels from falling off.

Your identity is still wrapped up in the outcome and if you continue this path, you will drive yourself insane and burn out.

At this point in growth, your goal isn’t control. It’s clarity. And how do you achieve clarity? You won’t like the answer.

You allow the project to have an identity beyond you.

You look for what is working and what is not. You shift.

You define what to delegate (it's not what you think).

And here is the biggie, you trust. I know this one is the most difficult. You allow others to take initiative. You let them make new mistakes. You learn new ways to do old tasks you used to do (that work better). You breathe and everyone grows.

And spoiler, this cycle will be on repeat for your entire career. BUT soon you replace the need for control with the acceptance that this adaptability is the goal. You never really get "there". Things will fall apart from time to time. Leadership in this space is about becoming comfortable with trial and error and repeating this process repeatedly.

You look for clarity over control in your vision, in your trusted team and in your mission.

I am currently guiding clients through this process of letting go, creating space within the organization for the team to step into new roles, and setting up systems that support this process. The outcome. Relief. Ease. Role clarity.